The
wounded ego in hiding believes that it is made better by pointing out the
shortcomings in others, in blame and in taking even a small measure of pleasure
in someone else's pain. The wounded ego in hiding does not know that in
any statements or actions it takes to expose others, it only broadcasts to the
world how wounded it truly is.
Wounded
individuals do not deserve admonishment and being given the same medicine that
created their wounds to begin with. Any such actions only serve to
reinforce the original wounds they suffered. What they need is compassion
and understanding. What they need is for others to refuse to participate
in any form of psychodrama. I find silence is often a valuable tool and
my sentiments were so perfectly echoed by a dear friend this morning. For
a very personal reason, this topic is so very near and dear to me. Any
followers of my work over time can attest to this topic being written about in
different ways often.
My motive
is not one of exposure myself, but one of underscoring the true importance of
finding those consequences of actions and seeing them for the message they are
that internal healing is needed. Those who criticize constantly,
criticize themselves worst of all. They may lie and say that is untrue
but that is only because of a dire need to protect a very gentle, sensitive and
wounded heart...or, in some cases, a soul unable to feel at all for other
reasons. We talked about this a bit in a previous chapter. In either
case, adding more insult to injury does nothing but embroil one in negative
energy and that does not promote any form of satisfactory or long-lasting
happiness.
To
discover those very sensitive wounds inside of us, wherever they may exist, is
truly a blessing in disguise even if it doesn't feel like it. When you
see evidence of pain in you by the continual negative consequences of your
actions, blaming the world, God, the Government, your Mother, Father, Sister or
Brother or what-ever, will do nothing to heal you or bring you to a state
where contemplating forgiveness or letting go through understanding is possible.
Let me
just say this: It is okay to be wounded. It happens to us all and there
is no shame in suffering emotional pain. Seeing the source of your pain
and seeking to heal it to prevent further damage to self or others is of the
utmost importance. If we cannot become aware of our wounds, seek out
their true source, the true message those wounds bring to us and seek healing,
we are doomed to remain asleep at the wheel of our lives. This is
tremendously sad and disheartening for so many...even innocent by-standers are
affected.
It’s a
truly challenging part of our existence in this world - to deal with the pain
we have suffered; the pain that has been seemingly inflicted by unaware
souls. It truly is tragic in many regards. But, as Pollyanna-ish as
it might sound, I truly believe that through education, understanding and
compassion, we can all contribute to the healing of these wounds that seem to run
rampant in humanity. It takes only a moment of understanding to refuse to
engage with a wounded soul in a way that might further their pain and only
cause you more.
Realize
that we all have a choice to make. We can co-create in this world in a
loving way with our Creator or we can rail against this world and the Source in
tragic blame, shame, guilt, violence and much, much, much suffering. The
choice is ours and the sooner we all realize that it is, in fact, a choice, the
sooner we can get on with the healing that needs to occur.
My heart
goes out to every single soul who seems to be mortally emotionally wounded and
I pray every single day that the light of Source might find them and encourage
them to seek solace in the loving light integrated into the wholeness of their
being. It is there whether acknowledged or not. Some might say this
is an absolute waste of my time and energy but I do not care. Emotional
wounds do nothing but inflict more pain in this world and too many souls in
pain will only create more pain and more suffering for all to contend
with.
Rather
than bring myself to hate the hurtful, I instead send them only love. I
will not feed self-hatred. I will not choose to perpetuate the
problem. I will seek to understand even if my own ego thinks it ought to
engage and defend. I will fight for understanding and compassion.
It's a hard road but a high road to take and no matter the result and no matter
if people hate or despise me, I cannot contribute to their hatred with in-kind
responses. Mind you that it would be ill-advised to continually stand in
arm's reach of those who feel the need to take a swing at you.
Sometimes,
we have no choice but to love from afar. Becoming angry and further
wounded by souls who really don't mean you any harm intentionally, who truly do
not know the harm they do or even those who do and don't care, makes no
sense. You do not have to engage in the hatred and negative energy that
such souls create. It doesn't help.
Strive to
remove yourself to a better state of understanding and in some cases, distant
proximity. I do not suggest excusing or accepting bad behavior in any
regard as I mentioned in the chapter about boundaries, quite the
contrary. I suggest understanding and always seeking to set personal
boundaries. There is no requirement that we choose to be human sacrifices
of the mortally emotionally wounded. Get to safety both emotionally or
physically but do not engage in the darkness of hurtful thoughts. If
anything is truly evil in this world it is the blind hatred of the wounded and
those who seek to retaliate in a complete lack of understanding.
As also previously mentioned, not
everyone is capable of reaching understanding.
It may even be hard for you to do it, but you can if you are willing and
you will if you sincerely make every effort to try and if you struggle, you can
seek professional assistance to aid you in this endeavor. There should be no shame in seeking help as I
often say.
To summarize these thoughts,
consider:
- Whether a wound is real or illusory, the idea of healing matters.
- Freeing yourself from toxic emotion can help you contribute to your own healthy existence as well as clear the path by setting an example, for others to strive to do the same.
- Sometimes distance from a source of wounding is needed to gain a more balanced and healthy perspective.
- Human interactions can be very difficult to grasp. There is an art to managing it in a healthy way.
- Understanding is a key that unlocks a door hidden in plain sight in terms of navigating the heavier emotions in life.
- You can transform pain into understanding (healing) even if the memories never fade.
- Memories of pain do not have to hold the same weight as they did when you originally felt them.
- Adding insult to the obvious emotional injury of others will never heal your pain.
- Fighting for right with a wounded soul will prevent you from understanding and then learning a potentially pivotal life lesson.
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